Changing my perceptions to change my reality

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Couple of years of back, I had a manager who used to repeatedly tell my colleagues and I that, “Perception is reality.” He used to say it so often that it has become engraved in my mind. As I look back at that statement I believe there was some wisdom in that. However, if we truly understand this to its core, then we will fully comprehend its implications to love and relationships.


We all interact and see others with a lens that is defined by them.  They try to understand other people using the same lens or based on their “perception” about them.  We behave, communicate, and express our feelings to others, based on our perceptions.  This perception becomes our reality of our life, even if it is faulty one. Many times we fail to correct that faulty view and continue to live life with the broken view of our perceptions.  This forces us to perceive others, the way they are NOT.  We expect them to behave the way we would expect them to respond. When others do what is natural for them we get offended, we speak bad things about them, and then grumble.  We fail to correct ourselves and fail to perceive that they did what was natural for them to do. If we are to correct our perception, then this faulty reality would no longer exist. However, I am not referring to or including corrupt, arrogant, wicked or immoral behavior. For such, God’s wrath will follow, we are to be still in God and allow Him to take suitable action in due time.

Typically, in counseling sessions the key advice given to all attendees is that we cannot change others, but we can only change ourselves. Changing others with our expectations or desires is impossible. We may be able to force others to change, but that will be only for a short period of time. Confronting ourselves is the only thing we have control over and it is the only thing that we can do, which would result in improving any of our relationships with friends, family, co-workers, etc..

Romans 12:2 tell us that "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Paul is reminding us that we are no longer to conform to the ways we used to follow. If today our perception is faulty about others and that we are not able to deal with such people then it may be time for us to have a “transformed” mind or in other words a transformed perception. Only then will we begin to see and behave with others in a changed manner.  Our changed perception will become obvious for others through our actions. This will result in a loving relationship, where the outcome is peace and reconciliation. That is when the true love of Christ will emanate from our life into this world and we will begin to see a new reality around our lives.

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